the 12 days of marriage

I don't know if any of you have been on the wedding website lately to see the wedding countdown... well if you have then you know that I will legally, officially, ETERNALLY be Mrs. Brian Todd Williams in less than two weeks. 11 days to be exact. My time as an engaged individual will come to an end and I will sooner than later wear two rings, talk about scrapbooks and coupons, and work in the primary. I will be the real deal... a married lady.

Can I just tell you something? Can I be really honest with you?? Even though I have been an awful blogger will you still listen? Like...really listen to me? Okay, thanks.

So this is what I am going to tell you: Being engaged has been a difficult time for the ol' agf/atw (that's me!) I won't go into all of the gritty details that have made this a wild time but I will say that difficulties associated with being engaged caught me off guard. For such a long time I felt discouraged by the way I reacted. I felt the same sense of discouragement I felt in high school after loosing a tennis match, or how I felt freshman year of college when I would always fail my physical science tests. I just want you, my very few readers to know that I am not discouraged anymore about our engagement, I feel really happy and exceptionally thankful for what Brian and I have experienced during this time.

While I was engaged I was able to learn so much about making choices. I learned that life is full of choices, all day long. We make so many everyday! And when we think we have to be a certain way... well usually that isn't true. We usually have a choice.

I learned a lot about love. I learned a lot about loving others, and even more about loving myself. I was reminded how many people I have who love me who have been around for years, just loving me all along. I learned these people really do hurt when I hurt and they are happy when I am happy. I also learned a lot about people who have recently entered my life who although they do not know everything about me, they want to love me just the same. Oh, I learned more about God's love, and that always feels good.

I learned a lot about Brian while we were engaged. He is really good at so many things. I learned that he is okay that I cry a lot (for example, I am in history class crying right now as I write this.. he is okay with that). I learned that he likes the generic brand of Lucky Charms just like I do. I learned that he will always listen to me. I learned that he knows how to pray, I learned that he prays for me. I learned that we will be happy no matter what happens during our life because we love one another, and we chose to be together because we will be happier and better together than apart from one another.

For all of you who helped me learn so much over these past 3 months I am writing you this really sentimental thank you note over my blogspot. So here you go, thanks. Thank you for helping me learn and being so patient with me. I love you.
I have to go wipe my nose now.